A Geek's Eye
I have arrived at FurSquared (in the Brookfield Sheraton, room 379) after a 5-1/2 hour drive. Registration took less than 10 minutes (one of the benefits of a small, first-year convention) and I'm now relaxing in my room before exploring the conspace.
I'm really looking forward to this. Pics, later!
Current mood: happy.
Well, time to hit the road. I'm heading to a brand-new furry con in Milwaukee this weekend called "Fur Squared". I donated some money to them a year-or-two ago to help with start-up funds so, now, I get to attend as a "Super Sponsor". I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend with friends and friends-I-haven't-met-yet!
Current mood: tired.
Upon waking up, I was hit by something I’ve not experienced (to this fullness) in quite a while. I was sad: completely, to my core, sad. It arose from a cluster of news reports I’d gone to bed with: a young boy who had been bullied to the point of attempting suicide, continued work by the wealthy to control everything at the expense of the ordinary, the general state of those in poor health. This sadness would be normal in most circumstances. But waking up to it, feeling it hold you down in bed to the point where you can’t get up for more than an hour and a half, that’s depression.
Depression isn’t feeling sad. That emotion accompanies depression. Being depressed is feeling overwhelmed, burdened, trapped, stymied, helpless, frustrated, and unable to change or even influence your circumstances. Whether or not you really are that much behind-the-eightball is irrelevant. Depression is the state of mind that insists that you are that mired in hopelessness and very little within you can pull you out.
Kindly, physical touch is often a solution as can be getting out of your immediate environs to break away from the images that reinforce those underlying feelings. But the long-term solutions depend on the nature of the depression. Diet helps. Uplifting words help. Changing your circumstances, fundamentally, definitely helps. But in the long term, the thing that carries a depressed person up from the depths most often is when someone reaches out, takes their hand, and asks them to just hang out and be friends.
Current mood: depressed.
Okay, I have the day off but after a few hours of working on some gaming stuff (and fixing something in the kitchen), I find that I don't want to watch TV, see a movie, clean house, read, or write. What's wrong with me? I have a whole day off! Why can't I use it?
Current mood: annoyed.
I've now watched all of Dexter. I've seen every episode, in order, during some binge-watching on Netflix. I have to say, it was excellent. I'm not entirely sure what everyone's problem with the ending is.
I mean, yeah, I can see room for improvement.
In the last episode, I'd have cut the last 2 minutes; just leave it with the single scenes of the phone call at Miami Metro and the other scene with the newspaper article. That would have been stronger.
But the existence of those last 2 minutes doesn't make the story any less good. Rather, I think that season 8 made up for some of the jumbled mess that was season 7. And y'know what? Even if season 7 was the worst of them from a story-telling perspective, it led the story in a fascinating direction allowing the resolutions (happy or sad, fulfilling or not) in season 8.
The best season was season 4 with Trinity. A close second were seasons 2 and 6 (with Doakes and Doomsday, respectively) tied at that position. These were the seasons with the most interesting, nuanced characters as well as the most interesting crimes and circumstances that Dexter found himself in.
Yes, there were plenty of tropes that made me wince in a few seasons and several egregious instances of Deus Ex Machina that bothered me (when it seemed like the writers were just aiming for titillation or thrills over comprehensibility and story) but those faded into the background to near non-existence during the good seasons. And season 8 was one of those.
The "Jump the Shark" moment? The moment when the show would never, again, reach the same heights due to something stupid or contrary to the rules of the show as set forth, previously, with inadequate explanation as to how it could be justified? For me, that had to be the "snow globe room" with Hannah in Season 7.
...And that's about all I can say without doing any spoilers. Those who know the show will understand where I am coming from while those who have not seen it, will still have plenty of surprises to come. Since I view the statute of limitations on spoilers to be about 1 year, the only spoilers I've specifically alluded to came 2 years ago.
Deal with it.
"Dexter" was a great show, one I will always treasure, and showed how "dark" can be very entertaining.
Current mood: pleased.
Each day, remind yourself to be aware.
You don't "control" emotions, you "surf" them. Think of attaining balance in regard to your emotions rather than wresting control.
Do not take that which you do not need.
Current mood: headachy.
Just weighed in after a solid week of diligently watching my food intake. No snacking at work, sticking to my regimen, eating only 1,900 calories per day, at most. I logged a 7.8 pound loss.
This is odd.
My last three weigh-ins have been curious. Yes, I gained a lot of weight from Hallowe'en through the holidays and only just got back into it, this past January. My weights were:
But I think I've figured out why.
It's a bit disgusting (but also real): I think I've been full of shit.
Basically, when you diet, you stop producing solid bowel movements as much as you would if you were eating more. That's my theory, at least. And since I've been weighing in on Sunday mornings, regularly, sometimes I've not relieved myself in a few days. Yesterday, around Noon, I did. Today, my weight comes in as it does. So perhaps last week, I was full of it (and reading artificially high) while today, I'm normal and reading rather low.
I think that's the answer. It does mean that if I weigh in at the same time each week but don't have that weigh-in sync up with my trips to the toilet, my weight will appear to fluctuate much more wildly.
Food for thought, I guess.
At least my total net loss, so far, is 13.6 lbs. That's worth celebrating!
Current mood: curious.
Complex Cookery for January: Pork Wellington! I'm very proud of this dish as I used, in its creation, to make buckwheat crêpes, pâté, mushroom duxelle, and pastry dough. I'd never made the duxelle before and it may have been a bit on the fine-side (I used a food processor) but since I've never eaten it, I'm not completely sure. As it is, it tasted great!
I've been having trouble with my diet. I put on weight between Hallowe'en and the New Year. Basically: cravings. I get them every evening. And while I can stick to my diet on some days, all it takes is 1 binge to kill all my gains.
I'm going to try to mix it up. Perhaps stagnation is my biggest flaw. I've eaten the same meals for breakfast and lunch (and often, dinner) for over a year.
I'll try to come up with a list of recipes I can make in advance or prepare quickly for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. I'm also going to try to slow myself down by making all my food from scratch. For the remainder of January I'm going to give that a shot. This weekend, my intent will be to create whole wheat English muffins and some whole wheat bread. We'll see how that goes.
Current mood: annoyed.