A Geek's Eye
When you work at fighting for GLBT rights, even tangentially, for as long as I have, putting money behind something that will directly or indirectly (through ticket sales or ancillary sales of the related, original books) go to a man who donates that money and uses it to fight against my rights and is consistent in his disrespect for and willful ignorance of people like me, is something I cannot support. Others can, that's their right, but it would be not as much a political act as an act of reinforcing my self-worth.
I would feel pretty low about myself if I contributed in any way to any of Card's anti-gay actions. It's one thing to be a horrible person holding horrible beliefs. It's another to use your income to fund actual programs (like the National Organization for Marriage) to discriminate against a group of people or work to roll backs the gains they have made in acquiring equal rights.
So, it is not so much an act of politics (although it can be made into one) as it is an act of retaining one's dignity and self-worth by not engaging in a behavior that is self-destructive.
I do not care about punishing Mr. Card. I am interested in my dignity. Those who ask others not to go out of respect for their self-worth are not attacking Card as much as they are making the statement, "Please understand how Card's income with be used against me". It's not because of Card's views. If the views of the author were at issue, I wouldn't read any H.P. Lovecraft due to his horrible racism. Rather, Card uses his personal money and influence to help push legislation against gay people. He is a board member and organizer with at least one anti-gay group and gives support to others. It is his actions, which are enabled by his money, that are at issue here.
I have friends seeing this film. I do not hold it against them. The amount of money they will be donating to Card's anti-gay efforts is vanishingly small. But for me to go see it would be a self-destructive act ... even if only in miniature.
Current mood: instructional.
Interesting. I'd forgotten about this group; it's been years, I think, since last I visited it's pages. And, lo-and-behold, today I get mentioned in its pages with some surprisingly familiar questions. I think I may have proposed these, once upon a time...
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers.
Current mood: introspective.
Current mood: happy.
My little self-publishing experiment, selling "Nightlights" for a mere .99 (as an eBook download) at Smashwords, has come into greater fruition.
If you would like to pay just .99 for it, you can download the eBook from Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/36
Think of it as paying to be disturbed by your own favorite faerie tales and nursery rhymes.
Enjoy ... and keep the lights burning.
Current mood: artistic.
I met someone, recently, who had never heard of H.P. Lovecraft. That took me by surprise at first but, really, why should it have? Just because I'm so steeped in fandom (and have read almost everything the man wrote) doesn't mean that everyone in fandom would be. So, this being the month of October, heading in to Hallowe'en, I figured I'd give a bit of exposure to this author.
Lovecraft, love him or hate him, was probably the most influential horror author of the 20th century. He is the creator of the incredibly famous short story, "the Call of Cthulhu". Written in 1926, it went on to have one hell of a life of its own in games, movies, and fandom in general. It's a tale of cults, dreams, elder gods, and terrible truths which can drive people to death and madness. It is not my favorite tale of his (although I do like it quite a bit); I'm most fond of "the Dunwich Horror".
Lovecraft died in 1937 of cancer but left behind quite a legacy that lasted well beyond his 47 years. All of his works are now in the public domain and archived in WikiSource: http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Autho
For this season, if you'd like to listen to just a taste of what the man's writing was about (nihilistic, horrific, racist, etc...) you can find some excellent audio readings below:
The Temple: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/hppodcra
The Hound: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/hppodcra
The Cats of Ulthar: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/TheCatso
The Haunter of the Dark: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/TheHaunt
The Picture in the House: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/The-Pict
From Beyond: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/From-Bey
The Call of Cthulhu: http://hppodcraft.com/podcasts/TheCallo
The only photo I know of showing Lovecraft, smiling.
Current mood: happy.
Sanity Trip 2013, a set on Flickr.
Here they are: my photos from my
Superior, It's Said, Never Gives Up Her Dead...
I awoke at 3:30 after having drifted off to sleep about 10pm last night, here at the Superior Shores Resort on the coastline of Lake Superior in Two Harbors, Minnesota. Outside, the rain is falling in sporadic sheets and the raging sound of powerful winds is mingling with the not-too-distant crash of waves to create a sussurus roar that puts me in the mind of the vast wilderness that once wrapped this portion of the world. I've propped the window open, just a bit, to better listen to the rushing sounds while I write.
This is what I needed; this is, I'm happy to say, what I've got.
Current mood: relaxed.
I've gone through my journal entries for the past few years. There were times when I didn't log much of anything ... especially compared to my nearly-every-day blogging I did back at the beginning. But while there were some gaps that made it difficult to tell for sure, I did find a trend. I seem to have an emotional meltdown every three months.
By "meltdown" I mean a period of extreme depression lasting between one and seven days. Sometimes I go for as much as four months between these bouts while, at others, its only two. The median and average both seem to be about three months between episodes.
I'm not a believer in astrology and I doubt an awful lot about biorhythms. But there seems to be a fairly regular pattern here. To me this indicates either I have a biological problem that is cyclical or I have a very regular series of events in my life that tend to occur on a semi-regular basis. I don't know which is more likely nor do I know if this is even helpful to me.
What was helpful was this: after I posted my (friends-locked) journal post earlier, today, I finished my work-day and went to a meeting with my psychiatrist. I'd had this appointment set up for months. And in the past, while I've told him that it's unfortunate that he's never there on a day when I've had a really bad episode of depression, today was different. Today I was a wreck. Today, he got to see it.
And I'm better, now.
It's talk therapy. While he could prescribe medications, I'm trying to do this without them if possible. I'd like to address my psychological problems by re-training my brain. If I end up needing crazymeds to help, that's fine. But I've taken them before and I'm not really sure they worked. So, for now, it's talk therapy.
And my doctor knows how to talk well.
He really helped.
More than that, he gave me an exercise to try: something practical I can use to address my little, lingering doubts and negative feelings. It's a methodology he says is used by many people both inside and outside of psychiatry. It's a method by which you analyze the issues that are causing you trouble, break them down, and gain a new (different) perspective on them. In so doing, armed with that perspective and being willing to try what it reveals, you can sometimes get real results in cleaning up your mindset.
The standard steps of this process are four-fold. You ask yourself, with regards to the issue/question that's giving you so much trouble:
It's all about changing your perspective.
And that's the core of approaching psychological illness.
I'm going to start doing this on a regular basis.
Each question will take time (no doubt) but I think it will be worth it.
I'll start this weekend.
Current mood: relaxed.
Just got home from one of the best shows I've ever seen. Joseph Scrimshaw produced "Flaw Fest" with Kickstarter funding and knocked it out of the park! He even had Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett of RiffTrax/MST3K open for him. I've been watching Joseph's comedy for years and I'm so glad I backed this. I can't wait for the audio recordings of the show to come out.
If there are still tickets at the Bryant-Lake Bowl for any of the remaining taping, do yourself a favor and go!
Current mood: happy.